Dilemma 11 – "The Brown Boy Dilemma"

Lead her like Abraham.  Provide for her like King David. Take comfort in her like Isaac. Fight for her love like Jacob. Care for her like Boaz. Love her like the Savior

Around the world in Africa, India, and even parts of the middle east has the lowest incidences of divorce. Have you ever wondered why? For starters, the families (mom and dad) have a more invested interest in seeing it succeed with areas of accountability as being more involved with the union of man and wife. While here in America, we have the 50/50 mentality, I’ll get mine, so you bring yours. The independent woman (I don’t need a man) product of the feminist movement meets the uneducated male (no clue on how to be a provider) or his role within the family. Before Eve, Adam had a job and several of them. He was the provider, the caregiver, and the priest. Clearly, a man should be in a position to take care of his family that is a command from the Most High because,

“The Plight of the Black man in America since the civil right movement in the time of the flower children, the baby boomers, the women’s liberation within the last 30 years, seventy-two percent of households have become a one-parent family where the women wear the pants in the family. They provide as the headship of the family because the views of the black man or Hebrew man is reliant on impregnating then leaving. We have fallen prey to immoral issues and radical movements of the sixties which brought about a desire to snow as much flesh to see its called advertisement and today its all about the American dream: the money, sex, fornication, and adultery. Lack of moral values. This is blatant throughout the media and the Christian church, our neighborhoods, the streets, schools, and especially those pits of sin – the night clubs. Such an alarming numbers of our families structures/ or foundations have been destroyed as a vast number of uninstructed mis-educated youth walking the earth being thrust into an already falling economy. Our problems have to do with spiritual issues lack of the truth.

With all the egocentricity, laying down with woman, she is with child, and then you abandon her. You don’t stick around to take care of the child. So you leave the mother and child open for anything. You are not there to nurture your son or daughter. You leave them fatherless. The mother going from man to man while instilling distorted ideas her daughter, who becomes whorish, after all, she sees her mother go from man to man. Your son, he is now conditioned to love them then leave them. He becomes effeminate and has no sense of responsibility. Due to the absence of the father, the family is in jeopardy.

.

Photo Courtesy of Ronald Ekene Monye

The Plight of the Black man in America since the civil right movement in the time of the flower children, the baby boomers, the women’s liberation within the last 30 years, seventy-two percent of households have become a one-parent family where the women wear the pants in the family. They provide as the headship of the family because the views of the black man or Hebrew man is reliant on impregnating then leaving. We have fallen prey to immoral issues and radical movements of the sixties which brought about a desire to snow as much flesh to see its called advertisement and today its all about the American dream: the money, sex, fornication, and adultery. Lack of moral values. This is blatant throughout the media and the Christian church, our neighborhoods, the streets, schools, and especially those pits of sin – the night clubs. Such an alarming numbers of our families structures/ or foundations have been destroyed as a vast number of uninstructed mis-educated youth walking the earth being thrust into an already falling economy. Our problems have to do with spiritual issues lack of the truth. With all the egocentricity, laying down with woman, she is with child and then you abandon her. You don’t stick around to take care of the child. So you leave the mother and child open for anything. You are not there to nurture your son or daughter. You leave them fatherless. The mother going from man to man while instill distorted ideas the her daughter, who becomes whorish, after all she see her mother go from man to man. Your son, he is now conditioned to love them then leave them. He becomes effeminate and has no sense of responsibility. Due to the absence of the father, the family is in jeopardy.

For, behold, the Lord, the Lord of hosts, doth take away from Jerusalem and from Judah the stay and the staff, the whole stay of bread, and the entire stay of water. The mighty man, and the man of war, the judge, and the prophet, and the prudent, and the ancient, The captain of fifty, and the honorable man, and the counselor, and the cunning artificer, and the eloquent orator. And I will give children to be their princes, and babes shall rule over them. And the people shall be oppressed, every one by another, and every one by his neighbor: the child shall behave himself proudly against the ancient, and the base against the honorable. When a man shall take hold of his brother of the house of his father, saying, Thou hast clothing, be thou our ruler, and let this ruin be under thy hand: Isaiah 3:1-6 (KJV)

We are affected by various political, economic, social, and spiritual dilemmas. These are facts, but there is a solution. 1. Set up the welfare system to entrap the women to keep her away from the man. 2. Incarcerate black or Latino men with maximum sentences for smaller crimes than their white counterparts. 3. Pit the man against the women 4. The feminist movement – Teach the women to be like men 5. Black men dying at alarming rates due to police brutality 6. Keeping fathers out of the homes than the next generation to being lost But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men. And he called the multitude, and said unto them, Hear, and understand: Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man. Then came his disciples, and said unto him, Knowest thou that the Pharisees were offended after they heard this saying? But he answered and said, Every plant, which my heavenly Father hath not planted, shall be rooted up. Let them alone: they are blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch. Matthew 15:9-14 (KJV)

Author Dr. Emerson Eggerichs states in his book “Love and Respect“ pg. 168 ,

“The first question a man usually asks another man when they meet for the first time is, “What do you do?” … most men identify themselves by their work. God created men to “do” something in the field. Watch young boys as they pick up sticks and turn them into imaginary guns or tools. Recently a mother told us she had prevented her son from having any toy guns or using sticks as pretend rifles, but when he made his cheese sandwich into the form of a pistol and was shooting a friend, she cried out in exasperation, “I give up.” Mothers should never give up because this is simply part of a boy’s nature. He is called to be a hunter, a worker, a doer. He wants to make his conquest in the field of life. The academic term for this is the “instrumentality of the male.” From childhood, there is something in a male that makes him like adventure and conquest. He wants to go into the field to hunt or to work some way.”
Lack of education and Indoctrination has to lead us far from the truth only with small bits of knowledge of the bible. The bible says, “my people are destroyed from lack of knowledge” and that knowledge is of self. Religion has been taught to us by gentiles and religious leaders from the Catholic Church. Sunday between 9 am to 11 am is the most segregated time. In 321 A.D. Constantine decreed that Sunday (1st day) would be the new Sabbath instead of Saturday (7th Day). Because the blindness we are blinded to the fact of a relationship with the Most High, so we are left to endear deep-seated moral and spiritual torture. Where did we wrong? We refused to follow instructions given to us, the holy commandments and statutes of the Most High given to us by the mouth of the creator that created all thing instead we followed the doctrines of self-made men. We have assimilated into the cultures of those that put us into captivity or slavery. As a result, we lost our identity the very acknowledgment of who we are as a people, but the Most High set a time that we would awake for deliverance as spoken by the mighty prophets.

Negative racial stereotypes are a special challenge for African-American males, especially in the workforce. One of the greatest challenges that I have had to overcome happens to be the negative stereotypes about African-American males. I have had countless experiences wherein people have reacted to me in a negative way simply because of my skin color. These negative reactions were the result of negative stereotypes. One of the experiences that I have had many times over the years happens to be the issue of being perceived as a thug, a robber, a thief, or someone who is extremely violent simply because of my skin color. These negative stereotypes are also present in the workforce. African-American males experience great levels of stress simply because of how they look. Without saying anything or doing anything African-Americans males are prejudged based upon negative racial stereotypes. Many people are oblivious to this truth because they have not experienced this type of stress-inducing prejudice. I have had this experience countless time. — Lenon Honor
Effeminate Black Males
Girl you ain’t nothing nice .. Snap snap
Effeminate is an offensive term: an offensive end used to describe a man whose behavior, appearance, or speech is considered to be similar to that traditionally associated with women or girls .. Men that grow up under Moms no Dad look to Mom as the head of the family structure. They emulated the feminine characteristics lacking good role models.
My Q & A with ArchbishopR
Q: What is an effeminate male?
“Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,” 1 Corinthians 6:9 An “effeminate” man in this verse is one who has rejected his masculinity and identifies as a female. His attire, in some cases, is that of a female. His mannerisms are female like. Very sensitive, caught in his feelings, cries a lot, and lacks the desire to operate in the purpose he was created for. He is not an alpha male but more passive in nature. There are exceptions to this rule when there is not a man in the house, a male child is more susceptible in taking on some feminine traits. That is not to say he will be a homosexual, but his reasoning and logic may be more female emotionalism. When perversion is introduced, it escalates when men abandon their real purpose in creation. An identity crisis starts and is encouraged by society. Q: How do we solve the problem of the effeminate male? I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless, I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (Galatians 2:20). Seek the Most High, repent, and follow his laws. The Messiah is the answer no way around it.
 ***3 TYPES OF MEN***
The Wealthy man
This man is interested in you, how to fix your problems, and how to cultivate you and your lifestyle. He wants nothing from you, other than your time.
The 50/50 man
What are you bringing to the table? This type of man is referred to as a “Dusty” a “Bob the builder kind of guy” wanting you to pay half the bills these are highly coveted by the “Pick-me chicks.” This one is quite interesting, seeing over 65% of the population of men fall into this category.
The Lazy man
This type of man takes pleasure in being provided for by a woman, they tend to watch video games all day while justifying it with they can’t find a job.
~~~~A Man’s true biblical role as a husband~~~~

For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. Ephesians 5: 23-30

Be a leader.

But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. 1 Corinthians 11:3 KJV Bible For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:23-24 In his commentary on his new book on biblical marriage, Dr. Peters points out that the Most High .. Places the ultimate responsibility on the shoulders of husband… in being the Priest, the leader, the provider, the spiritual head of the family… being the Head. The Head doesn’t mean to exert alpha male-ism, where he can misuse, beat, torment, treat her as a sex slave… but to nurture her and lead her and the family to the Most High. Men who are leaders get their instructions from the Most High. They take over, control, guide, and get things done. The Feminist movement and Slavery robbed Men of their place in the home while exerting women above the Man but with the Most High’s design for marriage, we will overcome. When God presented Eve to Adam in the Garden, Adam received her as a gift of great value to the Most High and him. When husbands, particularly Israelite husbands, do not treat their wives as a precious gift from the Most High and helpmate, they can cause those wives to search for a way to find significance and value as persons, often outside the Most High’s will.

Photo Courtesy of Abdul Oma P

Love your wife

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this, the cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. Ephesians 5:25-31 KJV One of the best ways to do that is to affirm her constantly. Let her know verbally that you value her, respect her, and love her. Serve your wife. The Savior, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands and that he was come from God, and went to God; He riseth from supper, and laid aside his garments; and took a towel, and girded himself. After that, he poureth water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel wherewith he was girded. John 13: 4-5 KJV

When is the last time you washed her feet, brought her a gift, meet some of her needs. What troubles her daily, the fears she may have, and her pressures? Have you washed her with the water of the word. You must fill her cup, she fills the little ones daily. Our love for her is conveyed through action.

1. Be a leader (Priest of your home) initiate the leadership responsibility. This role was never intended for women to do.

2. Be a provider (Foot all financial responsibilities of the family)

3. A self-controlled man (Disciplined in the Bible)

4. Be a servant ( a man after the Most High own heart)

5. Teach your wife to be right with the heavenly father. To follow his standards and not the world’s standards. Glamour is for magazine covers not for everyday life.

6. Be an influencer to your family the way the creator meant it to be.

Providing for your wife and family also means taking the initiative in helping meet her spiritual needs. You do this by modeling godly character, by praying with her, by spending time together in the Bible and looking for ways to encourage her spiritually.

The bone of my Bone and Flesh of my Flesh To be a frontrunner, a lover, and a servant is to accommodate your life to the life of the gift God has given you—your wife. Give up your experience for hers and, at the judgment seat of Christ, He will say, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant.”

My Q & A with Dr. Peters, a married man of 30 years

Q: What is your secret to longevity in married? Dr. Peters: Keeping the Most High first, secondly loving my wife as Christ loves the Church. Not letting anyone come against my wife, not even our children. My wife is a gift from the Most High. Q: What advice would you give to a man thinking about entering into marriage? Dr. Peters: About 20 years ago, a man came into my office for marriage counseling, at that time, he blessed me by saying, “God created the family before he created the Church. The needs of my family come before anything, other than the Most High God. I never forgot what he said there, and later I would discover that what he was saying was a Biblical concept. A man must be the Most High first with the execution of the commandments, teach his family, and love his wife. Q: Give a wisdom pearl to share? Dr. Peters: I will tell a man never to compliment a woman higher than you would your wife, treat her as she is the most beautiful woman in the world. Q: Do you think a woman should work? Dr. Peters: That is really not what the Most High God intended from the beginning, our children need to be taught, she can stay home, I will provide. So my answer is HER place in our home. Q: What makes a Godly (Most High) husband? Dr. Peters:

1. Self Disciplined Man-

The ability to control your own behavior, especially in terms of reactions and impulses And the LORD God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it. Genesis 2:15

2. Provider –

A woman should always be better than when she marries a man. Her needs and the children needs should be met in every way. The scriptures clearly say that a man is supposed to be the chief in terms of finance for his family. A woman is there to assist him with the house and the children. But if any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own home, he hath denied the faith and is worse than an infidel. 1 Timothy 5:8 In all labor there is profit: but the talk of the lips tendeth only to penury. Proverbs 14:23 Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise: Which having no guide, overseer, or ruler, Provideth her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest. How long wilt thou sleep, O sluggard? When wilt thou arise out of thy sleep? Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep: So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth, and thy want as an armed man. Proverbs 6:6-11

3. Communicator

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. 1 Peter 3:7 Pray for her and read the bible to her. Listen to her problems and be by her side.

4. Selfless

“He, that being often reproved hardeneth his neck, shall suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy.” Proverbs 29:1 Think of her feelings and put her needs before yours. 5. Protector …giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. 1 Peter 3:7 Lay your life down for her, let no one hurt her, or speak ill of her in your presence. Give all due respect and make others around you adapt that behavior.

6. Independent Man

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Genesis 2:24 Making your wife only second to Christ, most importantly, on this order the Most High, the Savior, then your wife, then children. “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” – Genesis 2:24 (KJV) The Bible shows us by the “leave and cleave” concept of marriage that as husbands once we are married, our parents now come second to our wife. So when all things are equal, while our wife comes second to God – she is to be our first priority amongst our family members and anyone but the Most High himself. But I want you to notice a key phrase I use here “when all things are equal.” “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it…So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:” – Ephesians 5:25 & 28-29 (KJV) Our children come after our wives but before other family members and priorities Remember the passage from I Timothy 5:4-8 where the Apostle Paul tells us that the first way we put our religion in practice is in our home? The needs of our children come only after our service to the Most High and then the needs of our wife. But the needs our children come before other priorities. “A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children’s children: and the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just.” – Proverbs 13:22 (KJV) “The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him.” – Proverbs 20:7 (KJV) “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they are discouraged.” – Colossians 3:21 (KJV) “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” – Ephesians 6:4 (KJV) “As ye know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father doth his children,” – I Thessalonians 2:11 (KJV)  As fathers we have a responsibility to care for the physical and spiritual needs of our children. In the same way that marriage is to be a model of the relationship between God and his people, so too the father/child relationship is yet another model of the relationship between our heavenly father and us as his children. We as fathers are not to discourage our children or needlessly anger them, but instead, we are to bless them, exhort them, comfort them, discipline them, teach them in the ways of God and love them as God loves his children.

 
Photo courtesy of Akshun Man
 
My interview with W. Akemi Emmanuel PhD
Q: Do you think there is actually “a brown boy dilemma?”

Akemi: Yes, gorgeous. These men and boys don’t know who they are? So with that the statistics as the status quo many of our young black men being incarcerated in high amounts of the community and being shot down daily by the police. Don‘t get me wrong in some cases they are actually guilty as the charge of the crime. By the way, I like the term “brown boy dilemma” deep-rooted in meaning just like the title of your book.

Q: Thanks! … so you think the stereotypes of black men, Latino, men of color are true?

Akemi: Yes they are in most cases but not every black man • Black men are they are about is BOOTY all they care about is sex. • Black men are thugs and criminals (doesn’t apply to all) • Black men and Latinos men are less educated they don’t even study their own history • Black men don’t know the value of a good sister to busy chasing after the white woman • Black men are lazy and don’t like to work, it is a man’s responsibility to take care of his family.

Q: What is the solution?

Akemi: The solution is to stop watching sports (which is already deprogramming your mind), playing video games, and chasing women. 1. Start by reading the KJV Bible with the Apocrypha, discover who they are to the Most High God. Study Study Study to show themselves approved. Black people don’t read, whether or not you attend university, you can still learn by reading on a scholarly level. 2. Learn a trade so you can take care of your family when you get a family, be prepared with a house and a car before you remove someone’s daughter from her father’s home. It is not a woman’s responsibility to take care of you, other than being a helpmate in the house. 3. Stop sleeping with every woman you met your body is for the woman you chose to marry because when you sexually penetrate a woman, you have already married her. If you are already married, be faithful to the one your with. 4. This should have been #1 – Fear the Lord, the Most High, remember only the things you do for him with last. That is the key to success. Follow the commandments, and He will keep you!

My conversation with Psychologist Ezrahi
Q: What is the solution for today’s brown or black man?

Ezrahi: A man must love Christ than love his wife and children, he has to be the provider, priest, and strong tower for his family. He must keep the commandments, be an example, and teach others the truth. You are head and not the tail above and not beneath, Discover who you then take your place and the rest shall follow. As the brown woman you have been enslaved, beaten, murdered, hung on trees, etc.. but unlike women, men rarely have to deal with color issues, as in skin bleaching, being revered as not attractive by society. In fact, the black man ranked #1 on many of our polls on the internet in terms of masculine perfection among women higher than that of Caucasian or Asian men. Fathers must teach their sons how to be a man! And their daughter how to be ladies. Turn away thine eye from a beautiful woman, and look not upon another’s beauty; for many have been deceived by the beauty of a woman; for herewith love is kindled like a fire. Ecclesiasticus 9: 8 Apocrypha Marry a woman of substance, it is rare and hard to find, but she exists, look around the corner.

Hatred of black women.

____ amount of years ago, you were born to a black mother, right? But you let it be known you hate black women. You hate our hair, our looks, our skin color. I would say that white supremacy has gotten the best of you. Such hatred of self, the black woman is part of you. The Most High clearly states that your affection should be with your own nation. Black women are the most beautiful women on earth, with the most unique looks. Nothing like her… Neither shalt thou makes marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou takes unto thy son. For they will turn away thy son from following me, that they may serve other gods: so will the anger of the LORD be kindled against you, and destroy thee suddenly. Deuteronomy 7: 3-4 KJV Sure, black men are affected by this phenomenon of hatred for the black woman… Our men were taught to hate the black woman back in slavery.
Black men desperately need to address their self-hate because it’s affecting our nation. The disrespect of black woman is showing its ugly head on social media sites as well as countless articles on the internet. The hatred and fury are out there, they think that by marrying women of other nations is the answer. Why get mad at black women when she is married to a white man when you engage in the same thing. Secretly, wanting to ravish a woman from another nation. Yes, I am pointing the finger at you black men, who are the leaders and priests of our homes. The black women should clean, herself up to by betting herself. Our motto together should be, “we are in it to win it.” together we stand!

Women, Sex, Lack of trade, training, lust, brainwashing, leadership, relationship with the Most High, lack of knowledge, self-hatred, materialism, and sin defines “the brown boy dilemma.”

Photo courtesy of Oma P

The answer is to repent of your sins, seek the Most High God of Israel, and keep His commandments.

“Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.” Ecclesiastes 12:13 KJV

One thought on “Dilemma 11 – "The Brown Boy Dilemma"”

Comments are closed.