Tag Archives: overcoming the haters

Dilemma 52 – "The Haters"


A white woman poses as a black woman, funny how people of the other nations are forgiven of her bounty, in this case, Rachel Dolezal President of NAACP Chapter from Spokane Washington, the blacks embraced her, think about how often black women are ridiculed for trying to be white. Rachel may indeed be a great person with her exploits for the NAACP, but integrity in the public eyes is fundamental as well.
Rachel Dolezal (left to right) These photographs are the property of their respective owners.
Self-hatred among blacks “You hate me, I hate me too…” Black people always want to be something they are not, if they have one drop of Indian blood in them, then they are half Indian, we are what our fathers are, our lineage is determined by what nation our father is. It is like there is a lousy enigma with being associated with being black. Why should we hate the color of your skin? The texture of our hair? The Shape of your nose and lips. We are unique among the nations. Our looks are rare. The other countries are a carbon copy of each other in terms of beauty. If we were to embrace our naturalness, we would have the uniqueness everyone would desire.
We are the trendsetters, they copy our style. Through history and now today they want our full lips, our ample behinds, and tanned skin. Wake up people there is no reason to hate each other but appreciate our God-given Beauty. Are we suffering from amnesia? White supremacy, slavery, and colonization really did a job on the psyche of the people of color. They have convinced us that we are ugly, worthless, and inhuman. They copy our music, our style, our looks, our culture, but it is the self-hatred among ourselves that has become problematic or shall I say, “‘the elephant in the room.”
Every other nation of people supports their own in word and deed. With people of color (blacks) there is a defined perpetual race war with themselves. Even in this day and age, we are yet still slaves in our minds, actions, and deeds. We are the only people that look at light skin and dark skin among blacks as to different nationalities. I have seen many times – Light skin women speak against the more colored skin women as if they are dirt and not worthy and have witnessed darker skin women treat the lighter skin different because they felt they were better. So if the shoe fits wear it, this must stop we are all on the same ship sailing through life as the dark nation of people. To the average white person, we all are dark.  The Truth I think the whole theory of light skin vs. dark skin is superfluous, stupid, and redundant. It lacks intelligence, perception, and common sense. Why does it matter? This whole thing was conceived through white supremacy, the enslavement of our people, it will never validate who we are as a people or nation. Dark skin women are not placed on a pedestal, but light skinned black women are put on pedestals by other black people. In society, white women are the only ones that can claim ownership of the foundation worldwide. White supremacy is to blame having their images valued and celebrated over all other nations. Occasionally the mainstream will appreciate a none white woman or man this is on purpose. And it’s so sinister depriving a person of color of their privilege and immunity that uncritical folks can’t discern that they have been repeatedly told by media what they should prefer, who is beautiful, and what skin color is this internalized devaluation is a way of life.  At the end of the day if your black, light, or dark,  you will receive the same judgment. View by white standards, light by black standards.

The Hater Syndrome

Okay if you made it to this point, I went over what you must possess to be considered a woman of the Most High, the attributes and behaviors. Does this sound familiar?

These photographs are the property of their respective owners.
Typical conversations among women.
Lady 1: She is gorgeous
Lady 2: Girl, you should see her when she takes off the weave and makeup then say that.
Or
Lady 3: She is cute.
Lady 4: She thinks she is all that.

Lady 2 and 4 are quite typical little did they know I don’t wear weave and never have. I have always had long hair. As far as makeup well I sometimes wear mascara, maybe some lipstick. Do we, as people expect, people on social media to say something positive, supportive, or convey a definite compliment. These people are cowards hiding behind a computer screen so their lives may be hell, so they want to make your hell to. I remember like over a decade ago, has done some modeling, my photo was featured online on a website, but it was under the wrong name. It was kind of funny how there was an ongoing conversation about my looks, and I’m sure that most of these people never seen me in person. I read the comments:

She looks like a big plastic blowup doll
Is she Somalian? No she cheeks are too chubby to be Somalian, but he is stunning.
She is as pretty as Halle Berry
In a room of women, she would stand out, but I don’t think the other beautiful women would go unnoticed.
She looks like a witch
I bet she’s an evil bitch she is too pretty.
Her eyes make her look possessed I bet her man has to cover his eyes when they have sex
I bet she has had some work done; she is to perfect.
She is cute for a biracial girl
She could earn 8000 dollars a night at a strip club that is until her novelty runs out.
Her hair is a weave (No its not)
Is she real? (Yes I am)
She is hella fine. I would date her, f*** her, and then leave her ass
I hate this yellow bitch.
I wish she would die of an aneurysm
Y’all only think she is pretty because she is light skinned.

A hater? Yes. Sadly a woman is often measured by the eyes of haters. By the things, she cannot control. She is measured by the way her body curves or doesn’t curve, by the way, it sticks out or sticks in. The wooliness of her hair or the lack thereof. The hue of her skin or the darkness of it. The attractiveness of her face or the ugliness. The education or the job she possesses. The material goods that she has acquired or doesn’t have. What is one to do take to heart the comments of the hater. A hater is someone that envies what another one has that they want. Their main goal is to make you feel bad for what you have been born with or blessed with. I have never been one to hate on someone because they are pretty or have earthly possessions. This is all preposterous, hating on anyone is not going to get you what they have. I have been confident in myself, to appreciate another woman’s beauty or possessions. I compliment them, sincerely. The Most High made us all unique and special. A hater is someone that envies what another one has that they want.

If the world hates you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you. John 15:18 The main point to drive home about hate is that they hated the Messiah (Christ) so if we are called by his name, then they will hate us too. So count it all joy, you must be doing something right.

Criticism

Criticism comes in many forms, one form is “Constructive criticism.” Your black dress is more acceptable for the Opera than the white dress. It aims to show that the intent or purpose of something is better served by an alternative approach. In this case, making the criticism is not necessarily estimated as being wrong, and its reason for existence is reverential. Constructive criticisms are often suggestions for improvement – how things could be done better or more acceptable. They draw attention to how an identified problem could be solved or how it could be solved better. Constructive criticism is more likely to be embraced if the objection is timely, transparent, specific, detailed, and actionable.

Negative Criticism

Friends and family members are the culprits of criticism. Most people are not sure how to handle it? They often feel that they can say anything to you with no response. I am sure that most of us have swollen lips, as we often have to bite them from saying something we shouldn’t. Trust me, I often clamped my mouth, but to no avail, it persists. I think often people speak with an undercurrent of envy or lack of knowledge. Here are some tips that will help when you have to deal with people who continuously criticize your every move. You can’t always control how other people act or what they say, but we can forever change our own behavior to better deal with the situation. Like my late husband always said to me, “Consider the source.”

“Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.” Proverbs 31:30 KJV

I’ve never been the type to make a lot of female friends except for a group of close ones. Women don’t positively respond to me, especially the worldly ones, the ones absent of the truth of the Most High. I find myself having to defend my beauty for as long as I can remember, I’ve been hated because of the way I look. I know that beauty is something that can’t be ignored. I always seemed to invoke compliments such as your the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, you should be a model, you look like a movie star. It came to the point when someone passes me a compliment I feel funny like I wanted them to leave; I grew up knowing I would get attention because of my beauty. I am not touched by the praises of man could change without warning. What is not apparent is the inner man something no one can see the truth be told that is what touches me the most my inner beauty.

Do we as people expect, people on social media to say something positive, supportive, or convey a positive compliment. These people are cowards hiding behind a computer screen, so their live may be hell so they want to make yours hell to. I remember like over a decade ago, having done some modeling, my photo was featured online on a website but it was under the wrong name. It was kind of funny how there was an on going conversation about my looks and I’m sure that most of these people never seen me in person. I read the comments:

She looks like a big plastic blowup doll.  Is she Somalian? No she cheeks are too chubby to be Somalian but he is stunning. She is as pretty as Halle Berry.  In a room, of women, she would stand out, but I don’t think the other beautiful women would go unnoticed. She looks like a witch I bet she’s an evil bitch she is too pretty.  Her eyes make her look possessed I bet her man has to cover his eyes when they have sex.  I bet she has had some work done she is to perfect.  She is cute for a biracial girl. She could earn 8000 dollars a night at a strip club that is until her novelty runs out.  Her hair is a weave.  Is she real?  I would date her and then leave her ass.  I hate this yellow bitch I wish she would die of an aneurysm.  Y’all only think she is pretty because she is light skinned.

Most people live in a closed box and don’t know anything other than what is placed for them in a box. Since the beginning of western civilization, we have been taught what is right and what is wrong by our slave master. In Willie Lynch days, he has an eloquently devised plan to separate our people according to class and looks. Which placed our people into a pitiless competition with one another. Today, black people still seem to embody that spirit of envy. You would like that through slavery, the civil rights era, etc.… our people would have bonded together more, or even been more supportive of each other’s pursuits. After all, all other nations bond together, start businesses and give each additional moral support. But where the black people stand, is a bit more grudge mental, to say the least. Once a black person achieves a level of success, they don’t support their own community. Is there secret envy that plagues our people? Yes. Do not envy. We have all been given a talent.. And that talent will make room for us and bring us before great men. We all have something that contributes to the body… as the hand provides to the arm.

“A man’s gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men.” Proverbs 18:16 KJV The handout – syndrome. Really I ask? I notice that when a black person comes out with a product, book or some service. Other black people want to get it free or ask can you give them a complimentary copy. But note that they never ask the white entrepreneurs can they get something free. They pay full price. Most black people envy each other while secretly longing for failure to come to a person. It has been documented that blacks spend less or invest less in black-owned businesses. According to Nielson rating, that black spending power will reach over 1 trillion dollars in a few years. The spending power among blacks is enormous, yet hardly any of it goes back into the community.

It is no secret that blacks are extremely talented the world over. We need to adopt the motto – we need to spread the wealth. The Most High gives you talents for your needs to be met and to help our people advance. But the world systems are saying that “I got mine now you get yours.” 

A faithfull friend is a strong defence: and he that hath found such an one hath found a treasure. Ecclesiasticus 6:14 KJV

Photo courtesy of Akshun Man

True friends generally, fit into one of the three categories, such as Outer Court, Inner Court, and Holies of Holies.

1. Outer Court: You share general things with them with a level of caution.

Fair-weather friends, Neighbors, Associates, Haters, People with hidden agendas or People you meet on the streets.

2. Inner Court: There is some trust that you share more intimate things with them.

Mentors, boyfriends/girlfriends, and some Relatives

3. Holy of Holies: You trust them with all your secrets and your life.

Spouses, Best Friends, Like minded people, there when hardship or difficulty rears its head, loyal friends that have stood the test of time and sticks closer than a brother.

Instead of constantly surrounding yourself with like-minded people, try to break out of your comfort zone and befriend people who hold opposing views. They will help open your eyes to different world views and you’ll learn to accept people who don’t see the world exactly the way you see it.

Instead of a friend become not an enemy; for thereby thou shalt inherit an ill name, shame, and reproach: even so, shall a sinner that hath a double tongue. Extol not thyself in the counsel of thine own heart; that thy soul is not torn in pieces as a bull straying alone. Thou shalt eat up thy leaves, and lose thy fruit, and leave thyself as a dry tree. A wicked soul shall destroy him that hath it, and shall make him laugh to the scorn of his enemies. The sweet language will multiply friends: and a fairspeaking tongue will increase kind greetings. Be in peace with many: nevertheless, have but one counsellor of a thousand. If thou wouldest, get a friend, prove him first and be not hasty to credit him. For some man is a friend for his own occasion, and will not abide in the day of thy trouble. And there is a friend, who being turned to enmity, and strife will discover thy reproach. Again, some friend is a companion at the table, and will not continue in the day of thy affliction. A faithful friend is a strong defense: and he that hath found such a one hath found a treasure. Nothing doth countervail a loyal friend, and his excellency is invaluable. A faithful friend is the medicine of life, and they that fear the Lord shall find him. Whoso feareth the Lord shall direct his friendship aright: for as he is, so shall his neighbor be also. Ecclesiasticus chapter 6: 1-10, 14-17 KJV

1. Get closer to the Most High (read the bible and pray)

“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.” Isaiah 26:3 Discovering who you are in the Most High is the key to life. We all are given one life, and we must know our purpose for living. It is more significant than you think.

2. Become your biggest cheerleader and motivator.

“And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God.” 1 Samuel 30:6 Daily read quotes and scriptures to motivate yourself. Tell yourself, you can do it,… I can make it… In life, most of the time, you will not have people around to encourage you so you must promote yourself. I know that I am my biggest cheerleader, and I always have been.

3. Take care of yourself

What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost [which is] in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? Eat right, work out, and pamper yourself. Trust nobody can say anything to you when you are healthy.

4. Don’t listen to people. Don’t fear them they have no power over you.

And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which can destroy both soul and body in hell. Matthew 10:28 If they are not an expert in an area don’t listen, nobody opinion matters. That is just like a person with cancer or diabetes, telling you how to eat. I don’t share a lot of my life with people around me because it often triggers insecurities in people they become volatile to you. That way, you keep them at bay because your life is your own, and they don’t get to own your destiny.

5. Get rid of toxic people.

Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful Psalms 1:1

We have no business being with sinners in the form of toxic people. If a friend or relative is causing emotional damage in your life, this is a sign of a toxic person. Sinners or toxic people drain the life out of you with their negativity. They suck the joy and peace out of your psyche with gossip, selfishness, or extreme dependency, know it all attitude, glory hoarder, and narcissism. Most times going into crying sessions making it all about them, and how they have been done wrong.Y’all only think she is pretty because she is light skinned

If the world hates you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you. John 15:18 The main point to drive home about hate is that they hated the Messiah (Christ) so if we are called by his name, then they will hate us to. So count it all joy, you must be doing something right. Criticism may be the sister of hate. Criticism comes in many forms, one form is “Constructive criticism.” Your black dress is more acceptable for the Opera than the white dress.

It aims to show that the intent or purpose of something is better served by an alternative approach. In this case, making the criticism is not necessarily estimated as being wrong, and its reason for existence is reverential. Constructive criticisms are often suggestions for improvement – how things could be done better or more acceptable. They draw attention to how an identified problem could be solved, or how it could be solved better. Constructive criticism is more likely to be embraced if the criticism is timely, clear, specific, detailed and actionable.

Nevertheless, I persisted.

 The answer is to repent of your sins, seek the Most High God of Israel, and keep His commandments.

“Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.” Ecclesiastes 12:13 KJV